Those Hedge Fund Guys

American icon Tom Wolfe (think Electric Cool-Aid Acid Test, Ken Kesey, 1969) put out an awesome article for Conde Nast about the characters of the uber-rich titans who manage hedge funds, lambasting them for their coarse attempts at high-culture, and their towering hubris. "These people" are, to Mr. Wolfe, the American Pirates, burning and raiding companies

It's long, but it's a classic read.

So do yourself a favor and read it.

Here's an excerpt:

"The freebooters have only contempt for other types of money managers, who always play it safe. They reserve a special scorn for mutual fund managers, a breed they call “pure vanilla.” Corporate C.E.O.’s don’t come off much better, not even “superstars” such as Lee Iacocca and Jack Welch...C.E.O.’s are people who expend their energies in binges of insincerity, holding the hands of shareholders and board members, constantly “negotiating” with government, with labor, and with God knows who else, constantly temporizing, compromising—resorting to flattery and “charm,” both of which are unmanly—striving to look dignified, clad in the obligatory dark suit, white shirt, and red or Arctic-blue necktie. That goes for C.E.O.’s and everybody else who works in investment banking, for the Merrill Lynches and Morgan Stanleys, with one exception: the traders.

THE TRADERS ARE ON THE FRONT LINES moment by moment, pulling the trigger with only seconds to think about it. They are our kind! They are aggressive—real men! Their plain vanilla C.E.O.’s know it too. They will pay a daring, battle-hardened trader $50 million and up per year to keep him from defecting to our pirate fleet. They pay them more than they pay themselves, because they are worth more, because they are real men, because they are willing to fight."